What Are You Doing for Christmas?
I keep being asked “what are you doing for Christmas?”
Well the honest answer is – not a lot, and not a lot different. Because Chronic Illness is for Christmas as well as life (even without the current exacerbation of symptoms that is showing no sign of clearing up)
I wish it were different, but you don’t feel less ill just because it’s a date on a calendar. There is no more energy, no less pain, no convenient abatement of symptoms. I won’t suddenly have to not take my regular meds, that need to fit in around specific times and food, and I won’t be able to have a glass of whatever I fancy because it doesn’t mix. I will still struggle to eat and swallow some food and my hands will shake uncontrollably as I try to cut it and get it in my mouth.
I will still be exhausted and need to sleep. And much as I love the company, sensory overload of too many people at once will still be a reality. I will still struggle with my mobility and accessibility in any space that isn’t my usual one. Oh, and I’m allergic to Christmas Trees, so that rules out anywhere with one of those too – even if I had the energy!
That is my reality. Others will have different realities that make Christmas Day no different to any other day, or even worse because of their pressures. Painful memories; missing people; people who no longer know who they are; those whose day will be spent caring; with bad news hanging over them; no-one to share with when they want to; people they need to be away from and can’t; simply not enough food, warmth or money to make the day any different – and nowhere open to escape to; the list goes on. As well as those who will be working to keep others safe.
So what are we doing for Christmas? Trying to get by as best we can. And grateful for those who love and hold us every day of the year.
Pam's Perambulation 