My Lord and My God

Today is celebrated as the feast day of Thomas, he of doubting fame.  So several lockdown weeks after Easter, we find ourselves back in the upper room and remembering Thomas, who thought he had missed out, missed meeting Jesus, missed seeing what God had done, missed his opportunity to know God and believe. (Created for our Circuit Daily Devotions – click on the link or here if you want to hear me croak my way through it!)

Caravaggio_Doubting_Thomas

John 20:24-29

Jesus and Thomas

24 Although Thomas the Twin was one of the twelve disciples, he wasn’t with the others when Jesus appeared to them. 25 So they told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But Thomas said, “First, I must see the nail scars in his hands and touch them with my finger. I must put my hand where the spear went into his side. I won’t believe unless I do this!”

26 A week later the disciples were together again. This time, Thomas was with them. Jesus came in while the doors were still locked and stood in the middle of the group. He greeted his disciples 27 and said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and look at my hands! Put your hand into my side. Stop doubting and have faith!”

28 Thomas replied, “You are my Lord and my God!”

29 Jesus said, “Thomas, do you have faith because you have seen me? The people who have faith in me without seeing me are the ones who are really blessed!”

They were all so excited,
they had seen Jesus
actually been in his presence
seen the scars,
yet also him walking and talking,
heard his voice
sending
and equipping.

And I missed it.

I wasn’t there
when Jesus came to all the rest
I missed that precious experience
of seeing,
hearing
and touching Jesus
again.

I hear of what you do and say
but haven’t know it for myself.

How can I know it was true?
How can I feel it in my soul?
How can I believe,
when I haven’t seen,
experienced,
touched
for myself?
How can I know?

I just can’t grasp it.

You tell me he’s alive,
that you’ve seen him,
but that’s not working
for me.

I saw him die,
I know he’s dead.
Your experience says different,
but I’m just not getting it.

I need to know,
I need to see,
to touch
and be touched.

Some how that seems weak,
my faith dependent on seeing
not believing,
but that’s what I need.

~~~

Oh how you know me Lord,
you know what I need
and you supply.

You allow me to see,
to touch,
to know.

How I wish I had the faith
to just believe,
but now
in reaching out
and touching
I know.

I believe.

You are alive

and you come to me
where I am,
how I am,
knowing what I my need
and meeting it.

You invite me to reach out
to you.

And so
I come to you.

Thank you Lord,
for your presence,
your risen presence.

Thank you for not
writing me off,
but coming to me.

Thank you
that you are there,
whether I feel
I can reach you
or not,
ever present,
in my life,
in your world.

Thank you for meeting me
when I find it hard to believe
or easy;
when I think I have missed out
or have been there for it all;
whether I have missed other opportunities to know you
or am taking this my first
– today Lord,
I see you,
feel you,
touch your presence
and I believe.

May I know that today,
however,
wherever I am.

Help me to believe.

You are My Lord
and My God.

 

We pray for those who are seeking,
searching,
longing:

Lord
as we long to see you
may we find you.
may we know your presence
and reality
in our lives.

If we feel that we have missed out
before today
May today be the day
when we meet you
and encounter you,
when we touch you,
when you invite us
to touch you
and to know you.

Bless us Lord
each one of us where we are
that we may believe
and know

 

 

 

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