Moans and Manna

I don’t want to be here,
this isn’t how I thought it would be,
how I wanted things to turn out.
This
all seems so much worse
than what I had before.

I’m frightened
by this,
it is not what I was expecting
or longing for.

Please can I go back
to the familiar.
It might have been tough,
but I knew where I was,
what to expect,
when
and how
things happened.

This is unnerving,
it requires faith,
my faith,
my trust
in you
and all you will supply
for me.

How can I keep on going?

***

You promise so much,
it is my faith that is lacking.
Can I trust you?
Will you provide
for me,
for us?

But Lord,
you know my needs,
you never let me down.

Forgive me
when I do not recognise
what you are giving me,
when I don’t see it,
or panic that it won’t come;
when I hark back
to the ‘good old days’,
forgetting that they weren’t
always so good,
and aren’t here and now;
when I long to go back
or fear to go forward;
when I am ungrateful
and ungracious
of all you do
and all you will do.

Lord,
help me to journey with you,
to follow where you lead,
with confidence
in you
and your goodness.

Thank you
for feeding me,
for leading me,
for loving me,
guiding
and protecting me
every step of the way
on this journey with you.

Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah

Exodus 16:2-4, 9-15 (CEV)

There in the desert they started complaining to Moses and Aaron, “We wish the Lord had killed us in Egypt. When we lived there, we could at least sit down and eat all the bread and meat we wanted. But you have brought us out here into this desert, where we are going to starve.”

The Lord said to Moses, “I will send bread down from heaven like rain. Each day the people can go out and gather only enough for that day. That’s how I will see if they obey me.

Moses turned to Aaron and said, “Bring the people together, because the Lord has heard their complaints.”

10 Aaron was speaking to them, when everyone looked out toward the desert and saw the bright glory of the Lord in a cloud. 11 The Lord said to Moses, 12 “I have heard my people complain. Now tell them that each evening they will have meat and each morning they will have more than enough bread. Then they will know that I am the Lord their God.”

13 That evening a lot of quails came and landed everywhere in the camp, and the next morning dew covered the ground. 14 After the dew had gone, the desert was covered with thin flakes that looked like frost. 15 The people had never seen anything like this, and they started asking each other, “What is it?”

Moses answered, “This is the bread that the Lord has given you to eat.

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