Room In My Heart

•June 18, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Room in my heart,
is there really room in my heart
for all you ask of me,
all you give to me?

Or are there areas closed off,
shut up,
kept just for myself
and not for anyone else
to get in to?

Would I rather cause problems,
have everyone looking at me?

Would I rather hide the real me,
make sure no one can get in,
touch me,
hurt me
or bless me?

Am I holding back
on you?

2 Corinthians 6:1-13 (CEV)

We work together with God, and we beg you to make good use of God’s kindness to you. In the Scriptures God says,

“When the time came,
    I listened to you,
and when you needed help,
    I came to save you.”

That time has come. This is the day for you to be saved.

We don’t want anyone to find fault with our work, and so we try hard not to cause problems. But in everything and in every way we show that we truly are God’s servants. We have always been patient, though we have had a lot of trouble, suffering, and hard times. We have been beaten, put in jail, and hurt in riots. We have worked hard and have gone without sleep or food. But we have kept ourselves pure and have been understanding, patient, and kind. The Holy Spirit has been with us, and our love has been real. We have spoken the truth, and God’s power has worked in us. In all our struggles we have said and done only what is right.

Whether we were honored or dishonored or praised or cursed, we always told the truth about ourselves. But some people said we did not. We are unknown to others, but well known to you. We seem to be dying, and yet we are still alive. We have been punished, but never killed, 10 and we are always happy, even in times of suffering. Although we are poor, we have made many people rich. And though we own nothing, everything is ours.

11 Friends in Corinth, we are telling the truth when we say that there is room in our hearts for you. 12 We are not holding back on our love for you, but you are holding back on your love for us. 13 I speak to you as I would speak to my own children. Please make room in your hearts for us.

What Do I Know?

•June 17, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I think I know so much,
have so much to say,
act like I make it all happen.

But you Lord,
you are the one,
the one who created
the heavens and the earth;
who did not just write the rules,
but worked them into all you made
and all you do.

You understand
the intricacies
and balance,
and you do it in care and love.

So, once again,
I remind myself,
that I know little
and you know everything.

Not only do you know the world,
but you know me,
intricately,
intimately,
to the depths of my being.

You know my struggles,
my pain,
my perceived injustices
and my real hurts
and scars.
You truly know what is happening,
see what I can’t understand.

So all I can do
is trust
and hope,
come to you,
sit with you
as you sit with me,
cling to you
who holds me tight
and wait with you
until I see
what you see
and know my place
in it all.

Job 38:1-11 (CEV)

The Lord Speaks

From Out of a Storm

38 From out of a storm,
    the Lord said to Job:
Why do you talk so much
    when you know so little?
Now get ready to face me!
Can you answer
    the questions I ask?
How did I lay the foundation
for the earth?
    Were you there?
Doubtless you know who decided
    its length and width.
What supports the foundation?
Who placed the cornerstone,
    while morning stars sang,
    and angels rejoiced?

When the ocean was born,
    I set its boundaries
and wrapped it in blankets
    of thickest fog.
10 Then I built a wall around it,
    locked the gates, 11 and said,
“Your powerful waves stop here!
    They can go no farther.”

Review of Searching for Sunday by Rachel Held Evans

•June 12, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Sometimes church is difficult.  Not God, but church.  Not church per se, but the struggle for community and an authentic expression of worship and engagement with God.  Despite our best hopes an intentions it is full of human beings, each with their own needs, gifts and foibles.   And my heart breaks at some of the things we do or say in the name of ‘faith’.  So, when I saw this book, I was very keen to read it.

The blurb says

Like millions of her millennial peers, Rachel didn’t want to go to church anymore. The hypocrisy, the politics, the gargantuan building budgets, the scandals—church culture seemed so far removed from Jesus. Yet, despite her cynicism and misgivings, something kept drawing her back to Church. And so she set out on a journey to understand Church and to find her place in it.

I can’t say that I don’t want to go to church anymore, I desperately want to hang on in there, but at times I struggle to find my place in it, for many reasons that are probably another blog post. (oh and I cannot by any stretch of the imagination claim to be a millennial sadly, but if the cap fits – read the book)

The book is set out around the seven sacraments: baptism, confession, Holy Orders, communion, confirmation, anointing the sick and marriage.  Each section contains stories that will break your heart and then some to gladden it.  It looks at church through people’s stories – true community and a large part of what church, imho, is all about.

The basic premise of the book is ‘why are people leaving the church?’

On reading Searching for Sunday it transpires that many of Rachel Held Evan’s questions are about God, and the struggle for an adult faith after a childhood following him and sharing all about him.  But if that wasn’t enough, the church and it’s attitudes get in the way of her finding the answer to those questions – however much she longs to be part of it. So Rachel’s story is about

growing up evangelical, about doubting everything I believed about God, about loving, leaving and longing for church, about searching for it and finding it in unexpected places (p15)

Rachel tells her story, but one that I’m sure many of us can identify with.

Much of the gist of this book is about putting aside cynicism.  Rachel suggests that if we want to heal our wounds, we have to

kick the cynicism habit first.

We have to allow ourselves to feel the pain and joy and heartache of being in relationship with other human beings.  In the end it’s the only way to really live… even if it means taking a risk and losing it all. (p207)

There are many other gems and food for thought, but you need to read the book to get the full picture.

There is a lot of sense in this book.  A lot of despair, but also a lot of hope.

The finger is also pointed back at me –  what am I doing to help or hinder the faith and church life of others?

If you’ve ever wondered about leaving church, or about why others do, this will give you some insight.  Stories of how others might see the church we have become so entrenched in that perhaps we don’t see some things any more.   Perhaps it might give us another perspective on what we see as ‘normal’.  And if you are searching for Sunday, perhaps it will help you find it – or at least make you feel that you are not alone.  Perhaps it will take you to the place where you can embrace church – flaws and all. For as Rachel concludes,

All we have is this church – this lousy, screwed-up, glorious church – which, by God’s grace, is enough (p235)

We are after all a resurrection people.